I sacrificed 18 months of my life for this

A brutal lesson in self-accountability

Read time: 5 minutes

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When Trust Turns Toxic

18 months of my life I sacrificed to build this company.

• Handling the clients

• Managing the team

• Setting up systems

And finally, it was paying off. We hit a 7-figure run rate.

But with the success came something I hadn’t anticipated…

Resentment. From the founder.

At first, it was subtle – little comments here and there.

Then it became more blatant – micromanaging, undermining, and an increasing sense of jealousy.

His ego couldn’t handle me being the leader.

Instead of empowering me, he became threatened. Instead of celebrating our wins together, he became obsessed with control.

It was exhausting, but I kept pushing forward thinking I could ride it out. That eventually he’d see the bigger picture.

I was wrong. So wrong.

One morning, I tried to log in to my work accounts like any other day.

LOCKED OUT OF EVERYTHING.

My email, our project management system, client accounts. Everything.

When I called him to ask what was going on, he replied:

“It’s called gardening leave mate, Google it”, his voice dripping with smug satisfaction.

I then found out that he had been sabotaging the business from the inside for months.

Dismantling the systems I and the team had built, spending our cash reserves carelessly.

So by the time he locked me out, the damage was already done.

Clients were leaving, the culture turned toxic, and I was now standing on the outside watching it burn to the ground. Everyone lost their job.

At first, I was angry. Furious, even.

Furious at myself for not seeing it coming, and furious at him for being so self-destructive that he’d rather let the whole business crumble than accept I was the leader.

But in the midst of that anger, something clicked.

I realized I had handed over the keys to my life to someone else.

So I made myself a promise.

Taking Back Control of My Life

Never ever again would I let someone else have control over my future.

I would build something that no one could take away.

So at the start of 2022, I turned to LinkedIn. A platform I had used passively in the past – updating my job titles, occasionally scrolling through the feed – but never something I took seriously.

I made a pact to myself that I would post content every day, expecting absolutely nothing in return for an entire year.

At first, it felt like I was shouting into the void. No one cared.

But by December 2022, I had grown to around 9,000 followers. It wasn’t viral growth by any means, but it was progress.

People were starting to take notice of the stories I was sharing, the insights I was providing, and the value I was adding.

Then came 2023, and the best way I can describe it is like a boomerang.

All of that work I had been doing to post content in 2022 came swinging back with a momentum I never could have predicted.

People I had admired from afar were now in my inbox wanting to collaborate, and my posts were being shared across the platform.

But the real magic was happening behind the scenes. During this time, I was quietly building a new agency, Alpha Inbound. 

The founder believed in me and gave me free rein to blossom.

The reputation I’d built on LinkedIn translated into real-world results – over $600,000 in new, inbound revenue in 2023.

And it was only possible because of those two hours creating content every single day, back in 2022.

But that’s enough about me.

Now the spotlight turns to you. 

One Decision Changes Everything

Do you want to be in control of your life?

In control of your outcomes and your success.

If the answer is yes, then understand this:

Taking control of your life is a decision you have to make consciously, and it’s a commitment you have to stick to when the going gets tough.

If you don’t, someone else will take control. Your life will be shaped by their decisions, their priorities, their agenda. Their dreams.

Not yours.

I know this because I lived it. You feel powerless.

I sacrificed time with family, skipped out on things that mattered to me, and worked myself to the bone for that company.

I believed that if I just worked hard enough, I would eventually be rewarded.

Here’s the hard truth: when you put your future in someone else’s hands, you’re giving them the power to take it all away.

Taking control of your life doesn’t mean you have to build a personal brand.

Yes, for me the answer was building a presence on LinkedIn.

But for you it could be learning to code, writing a book, or building a network of people who inspire and push you. There are no rules.

It could be about starting a side project, finding a mentor, or investing in personal development.

It’s not about the platform or the method – it’s about the mindset.

It’s about deciding that you’re no longer going to wait for someone else to give you permission to succeed.

Instead of hoping for validation, it’s about validating your own worth through the actions you take every day.

So, let me ask you again: Do you want to be in control of your life?

Good. Let’s talk action.

Put On Your Mask First

In an emergency on a plane, they tell you to put your oxygen mask on before helping others.

This isn’t just survival advice for flying; it’s a strategy for life.

You cannot help anyone or build anything meaningful if you’re running on empty. You need to secure your own foundation first.

This is especially true for underdogs.

If you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, you won’t have the strength or clarity to achieve your goals.

So here are 5 specific, actionable steps you can take:

1. Block Time for Personal Growth Every Day

Look at your schedule right now. No matter what’s going on around you, find at least 30 minutes a day that you can block out solely for your personal growth. It could be early in the morning, during lunch, or in the evening – but this time is non-negotiable.

This is your time to work on you.

2. Focus on High-Impact Activities

Identify the 1-2 activities that will have the biggest impact on your future.

What will get you closer to your goals? Is it learning a critical new skill? Building a professional network? Developing your personal brand?

One of the biggest mistakes people make is spreading themselves too thin by focusing on low-impact activities that don’t move the needle.

Focus.

3. Build Strategic Relationships

Your network truly is your net worth. But that doesn’t mean saying yes to everyone or constantly bending over backward to please others. It’s about being intentional with the people you connect with.

Make a list of five people who inspire you, whose values align with yours, or who are in positions you aspire to reach.

Reach out to them. Share your story, offer value, or engage with their work in a meaningful way.

4. Get Ruthless with Your Boundaries

Make a list of activities, people, or commitments that drain your energy or pull you away from your long-term vision. Which of these can you reduce or cut out completely? Be honest with yourself. Practice saying “no” to these things.

5. Execute Relentlessly

Taking control of your life doesn’t happen through preparation alone. It happens through relentless execution. You have to do the work, consistently, and even more so when it feels like progress is slow.

So set clear, achievable goals for each day and hold yourself accountable.

Persistency is key.

You can’t wait for the perfect conditions to start making moves.

David didn’t have that luxury.

He knew that if he didn’t act decisively, no one else would fight Goliath for him.

The same goes for you. No one’s coming to save you or fight your battles.

Taking control of your life isn’t accidental.

It’s a deliberate decision fueled by discipline, focus, and the courage to prioritize YOU.

So gather your strength, put on your armor, and step into the arena.

The power is in your hands, David.

I’ll see you at the top.

Yours truly,

-Nigel Thomas

P.S. If you enjoyed this Newsletter please share it with a friend who needs to take control of their life